World Mental Health Day
So it's World Mental Health Day and as you know, I've been more open about my struggles recently. I was unsure at first but I've had so many people message me saying how much they admire my honesty on such a taboo subject. I was always the girl that seemed so happy and sunny all the time. In school, at gigs, everywhere. People always seemed to think I was the happiest person with this bubbly personality and for part of my life I was, but when I started to disconnect from that person and have my whole life taken over by my problems, it felt impossible to talk about.
I felt like I HAD to be the girl that didn't care what people thought and could just walk into a room with the biggest smile on her face as if she didn't have a problem in the world, which was the most damaging thing I could've done. I kept all my problems bottled up and then I would just break down. That's why I've ended up in hospital 3 times over the past four years. I thought my options were be this girl that everyone thinks you are or just don't be anyone at all. I felt so much pressure to be happy that I didn't allow myself to be sad and when I did feel the sadness, I just collapsed into feelings of helplessness and worthlessness.
I had family and friends that would've listened to me if I tried to speak to them, but instead I would drink by myself in my room or take really drastic action.
THIS is why it's important to speak up about these issues.
If I had just accepted myself and accepted my problems, I probably could be a lot happier now or even recovered. But no one had ever spoke to me about mental illnesses or how it effects you. Was that because I seemed so happy or because of society's outlook on mental illnesses? Either way, I should've been taught about these things. I know from experience, I've looked at people and thought "wow, they're beautiful, they have all these friends, and they're so talented. they must be so happy" but that isn't always the case.
No one has a perfect life, no matter how much their Instagram feed or their personality may make it seem that way. We all have our bad moments. And it's these moments of desperation, loneliness, depression that make you appreciate the happiness more when it is there, but we all need to just be kind to eachother and not treat mental health like it's not worth talking about because showing people love is what gets them, and even yourself, through those bad moments.
Lots of self love, Lisa x